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Entries in Officiant (4)


This Is Why I Became An Officiant


I was so proud to be there for Hailey and Lyndsey Holder.  When we sat down for the first time you could tell they were already married in every sense but the legal one.  They fought like a couple that loved each other, teased each other but never to hurt and they sat together never touching but it was like they were holding hands.  If ever there was a couple that exemplified why marriage is alive and well Hailey and Lyndsey are it.  Below I've included a part of the ceremony I wrote for them which may be short but speaks volumes about a couple and the incredible future thaey have before them!

"Here are some facts you may not know about our couple.  Lyndsey “Linder Hosen’ Holder, born Feb 23 1987 and grew up in Sudbury.  She lists her childhood interests as reading,  TV movies and is a self described dork.  She graduate College Notre Dame in 2005 and then, later, Laurentian University as a nurse. One of her early jobs was at Harvey’s where her boss (or so she thought) was her future wife.  In fact the first impression was that her boss was kinda mean and didn’t know how to handle the breakfast crowd!

Hailey ‘Hail’ Dalaire born May 8th 1987 in Kapuskasing.  She’s a Northern girl and lists her childhood hobby as getting hurt, riding her bike with rollerblades on and cooking.  One of these things she has not given up.  She graduated Lo-Ellen Park in 2005 and also lists one of her first jobs as high volume culinary specialist.  Harvey’s!  She remembers Lyndsey working for her.  She didn’t listen very well.    When asked what she initially thought of the new employee she replied “Didn’t particularly like her, until I got to know her.”

They don’t remember when they started dating.  The first kiss is a secret.  They don’t even remember who said “I love you" first but Lyndsey is sure whomever said it first they made the other repeat it right back!  Hailey is pretty sure it was Lyndsey because ‘she’s the sappy one’.

And it was May of last year, in San Francisco, in what Lyndsey describes as the tackiest restaurant ever that they decided to get married right next to a waterfall, a fish tank and an animatronic gorilla.

Which leads us here today!"

Five minutes later, with a great deal of pride, I pronounced them married.


Being In the Moment

Art Linkletter used to have a TV show called "Kids Say the Darnedest Things". You never knew what they were going to say or do as he interviewed them. Even comedians have an axiom that calls for them never to follow a child on stage. But over the years I have found a simple solution to handling children at weddings and wedding receptions. In my role as an Officiant, MC, Wedding Planner or DJ the solution is the same: treat them with respect.

We can guide them into the direction we want with a gentle word or a quiet voice but when the moment comes like the above pictured Mikaela stay in control but let children be children. She wanted to sing so I let her have access to the mic knowing how laid back the Bride was. It was a great moment and got a little girl a standing ovation from the head table. A professional is in the moment and not caught up in the process which is why I let Mikaela sing. All the bits and routines could not equal the sincerity of a child and is a moment Wynter and her new husband will never forget.

A special thanks to Bernie Aho for another great picture!


Have I Ever Mentioned...


I love my Job!

This couple was so cool, so calm and so in love.  James and Lianne Depatie got married, not because it was expected of them, but because they wanted to share what they were to each other.   This wasn't always the perspective that I had on weddings.  For years I used to watch weddings stumble along without direction so I began to include more and more planning for couples.  Then there was a limit to what I could do or was perceived to be able to do so I got my wedding planning certification.  The presentation now had added credibility to go with fifteen years as a radio DJ in Sudbury, Ottawa and Southern Ontario.  Years of training, seminars and industry conventions has furthered my training but in all that time the most important part of the Bride's day was still the Ceremony. 

And now, as a Humanist Officiant, I can also perform the ceremony.  That's me at the 'altar'!  It's an altogether different conversation when the guests see you first as the 'Minister' and then as the MC and DJ.  There is now a level of trust and confidence and even expectation that this day will be different than anything they have experienced before.  That's what I'm about and why I changed the name of the company to Absolute Weddings.  It is different.  I am not a DJ anymore, the music man or the guy who sits and drinks and plays music at someone else's wedding.  This day, your day, matters and is why I went through everything that has brought me this far.



The Words Every Bride and Groom Want to Hear

Tonight I performed for Jeff and Angele Mousseau's wedding reception.  A rockin' Grand Entrance filled with laughs, great flow, lots of tears and I couldn't keep them off the dance floor if I tried.  We even had to move tables because there just wasn't enough space!  But that wasn't the best part for me. 

When we go a wedding it's not for the bonbonierre gift, a great meal (Holiday Inn was excellent), or the open bar.  At least it shouldn't be.  It's for a shared moment to celebrate the most important validation two people could give each other.  And that's exactly what happed tonight.  The words matter.  They affirm not only the couple but the value of everyone in the room as we collectively acknowledge that it is we that decides we are important to one another.  We give each other value simply by professing it out loud.