At a client meeting the other day I heard both a Bride and Groom tell me they just couldn't wait for it to be over. For him it was because he hates public speaking and she hates the details involved. I get it. Those aren't fun for anyone if they're not your thing. But what I saw was two people that needed a reminder of why they were having a wedding in the first place.
Besides the obvious and unromantic contractual reasons that bind two people together in a formal way there is a more important cultural reason. There is nothing more important than how we value each other and marriage is just such a statement. I believe life is finite which means that this life is infinitely more precious. And to say to another person that you want to spend the rest of your most precious resource with that other person is a profound statement. We can say we love something or someone but to express it in terms of the infinite makes it unique. That's what we are celebrating.
What should take much of the sting out of the day is knowing that all one has to do is express that love in an open and sincere way. Everything from the invitations to the Sunday brunch can be used to do that. A couple doesn't have to follow every tradition if those traditions don't express what the couple feels but the affirming role of the guests is to somehow share in that emotion. Finding an Officiant, planner or wedding entertainer able to accomplish your individual expression becomes the most important task when planning the most important day.
I know they were just feeling the stress. And in moments of frustration it is easy to lose sight of the reason for the day. While not their Officiant, I will be there for them to see they get their day their way and allow them to feel like guests at their own wedding. Can't wait!